I Don't Think So
by childrenofeomund
Summary: Momo finds herself in a strange predicament. Will Toshiro come to her rescue?


Title: I Don't Think So. . .

Summary: While staying at Orihime's, Momo comes in contact with Chizuru. When Toshiro walks in on the scene, what is his reaction?. . .

Style: humorous fan fiction

Rating: T

Pairings: MomoxToshiro

Archive Findings: Bleach, humor, complete, English

Warnings: Homosexual content, suggestive innuendo

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, although at least three of my husbands are property of the guy who made it who's name escapes me. . . XD

A/N: Just so no one gets pissed off: This takes place when Toshiro and Rangiku stay with Orihime, and in my own world, Momo and Kira went too! XD Yeah, I read I'm Not Lesbian by Merciless Ruby and just had to write something on it .

Momo was walking up a set of what seemed like a _long _set of stairs to her very tired feet. A day of patrolling the area in search of possible threats was the cause of her pain and suffering, and she could not wait to use the foot massager that Orihime had offered her early. She had declined then, but now it seemed like the closest thing to heaven. She reached for the door handle, when it suddenly turned of it's own accord and Momo received a faceful of Matsumoto.

"Do _not _go in there Momo. It is not worth it, hun. Seriously," the big-breasted beauty called over her shoulder, legs going as fast as possible in her gigai form. Momo shook her head, and muttered, "Oh yeah, it is."

She dragged herself into the room and stopped abruptly, finding a girl with glasses reading a porn magazine and giggling. Orihime was on the other side of the room, ignoring the horny form on her bed and trying to read what looked like Great Expectations. Needless to say, it wasn't working. She looked away from the book, and saw Momo standing, looking quizzically at the girl on the bed. Orihime stood, walked swiftly to the door, whispered "Sorry!', and quickly scampered off.

Then the giggler looked up; Momo gulped.

"You must be Momo-chan!" she exclaimed, jumping off the bed and running to the poor girl, and then hugged her to her chest. "You're so cute! Perfectly sized breasts, shorter than me, ooh, and your blushing! You're gonna give me an erection if you don't stop! You're gonna be so sexy when you become an adult. You may even look like that girl from America, Angelina. . ."

Momo attempted to escape the girl's clutches, only to be turned around, and swiftly felt up by the lesbian. She gasped and struggled to get away, arms flailing.

"Please, stranger-san, I don't like girls, I like boys!" she wailed, and then squealed when she felt the hands squeezing her breasts. "Stranger-san, stop, someone might get the wrong impression!"

She was spun around again, and suddenly felt the door at her back.

_When the hell did that close?!_

Chizuru's body was pressed against her own now, and her eye's were wide at how close the other girl's lips were. A trace of tounge came out to moisten them, and Momo stiffened when she felt hands inching their way up here skirt. "Stranger-san, please! I want to keep that for someone else!!"

Chizuru licked her lips again, and her hands moved up her body, tracing patterns on Momo's skin.

"Well, my dear, delectable _peach, _you have to prove it to me first. Otherwise, you just may become my _pussycat_ and I'll have to eat you up."

Momo turned bright red at her words, and was about to scream, when suddenly, the door gave way. . .

Toshiro was tired. No, he was not,tired he was exhausted. Ack, no he was completely and utterly falling apart! His eyes were slipping closed as he stood, and his legs were dragging. He wanted _sleep, _and nothing, absolutely _nothing, _was taking that away from him. He was stuck on that. 100 sure policy of nothing, no-one, and ever other word with no in it was not going to bother him. He would lay his head on a nice, soft pillow, curl up under a feather-down blanket, and he would dream sweetly, _innocently,_ about his Momo tonight, instead of the raciness that usually greeted him. He _really_ wanted sleep.

Of course, that mindset came to a screeching halt when he heard the voices behind the door. One was definitely Momo, sweet, innocent, and . . .scared? No, more like. . .afraid.

"Please, stranger-san, I don't like girls, I like boys! Stranger-san, stop, someone might get the wrong impression!"

His thoughts shattered, and his eyes became perceivable wide. He felt his heart thump in his chest, and very. . . _naughty _images were making themselves known in his head. Images of Momo and another girl were permeating his brain; pictures of his Momo and another woman doing unspeakably dirty and _sexy _were destroying his very well-placed self control.He did his best to brush them away, filling his head with _Momo's in trouble _and _I have to help her._

The battle of his mind continued when he heard a back hit the door, and a gasp that was decidedly _Momo-sounding _seeped through. He was losing. Badly; but then he heard a quiet exclamation.

"Stranger-san, please! I want to keep that for someone else!!"

Keep? Keep what? What was being taken? Why was Momo so afraid to lose this? He still couldn't move, though the battle in his head was turning.

"Well, my dear, delectable _peach, _you have to prove it to me first. Otherwise, you just may become my _pussycat_ and I'll have to eat you up."

That nearly broke him; his will to save was almost overpowered by his will to keep listening, but one thought slammed throughout his head like a basketball

_You're gonna let some horny _bitch _take a wack at _your _girl before you do? Are you gonna let _anyone_ take a wack at _your_ girl before you do?!_

_**Hell no!!**_

Momo toppled over, and she braced herself for impact; in the most clichéd way, it never came. She cracked one eye open to see a very pissed off Toshiro holding her, cradling her head, and looking _so_ tough-guy she nearly swooned.

"Toshiro-kun?"

The man in question blinked and looked down, smirking. "You've never called me **that** before," he whispered, and his smirk grew when Momo snuggled into him. He glanced down at the girl shaking her head to clear it, and his face grew stoic. "What the **hell do you think you're doing?!"**

Said girl blinked, and stood slowly, pouting. "Oh, dear peach, who is this? Is this who you were saving it for? He's not even half as tall as me! I can give you so much better, peach. . ."

She was cut off my Momo, who was still blushing furiously and cuddling against Toshiro's chest. "Yes, this is who I was saving it for, and I don't think you could give me any more than he could. Please go Stranger-san," she muttered, and buried her face in his chest. Toshiro looked up, clutching at Momo possessively, and glared at Chizuru. Chizuru glared right back.

"I get it, I get it, she's yours," she mumbled, and Toshiro's face turned red. "Well, juicy peach, if he doesn't give you what you want, I'm always here, and I can give you a much better time." She skipped away, porno in hand, leaving Toushiro and Momo in the hallway.

The captain carried her into the room, and put her down on the bed gently. He sat next to her, avoided looking at her face, and scratched the back of his head. "Umm. . .You okay? I mean, she didn't so anything. . .right?"

Momo smiled, and looked up at him awkwardly. "No, I'm fine. It's good that you showed up in time, though; I'm sure she would have gone as far as she could, and this gigai body is very weak, so I wouldn't have been able to do anything and-Umf!"

She found herself cut off by a pair of soft, warm lips. Toshiro pulled away, and she sat up quickly, her red face resembling a lovely, new fire engine. "Gomen," he muttered, turned away again. "I should have just said something, but-Omf!"

He, too, found himself incapable of speech, and quickly reciprocated. He pulled away after a moment, and smirked when she moaned in disappointment, following his lips with her own.

"So, Momo, if I ever go, would you go to her?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and she bit her lip.

"I'm not a lesbian, Shiro-chan. You should know that by now."

"I really don't know Momo, you may have to prove it.. . ."

A/N: . Kisses! Great thanks to Merciless Ruby for her gratifying inspiration. Please review!


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